In a few days from now, I will be embarking upon a new journey. The long awaited 'joining date' as arrived. It had been postponed from July 14 to January 4 and now it has been preponed. When I got the news I was not sure if I should be happy. I am still not sure. If there is one thing that I have dreaded in my engineering, it has been coding and this is precisely the thing that I am going to do as job. Unlike my some other friends, I was not highly affected by the delay in joining because somewhere deep in my heart I never wanted to be a software engineer.
Being the lazy person I am, how am I going to survive in the competitive environment, remains to be seen. I am not sure if I am going to last long in this job, even if they increase my salary significantly. 23 years have passed and I still don't know what I want from my life. Money is important but so is the time needed to enjoy it. Money is important but so is ego. Money is important but so is peace of mind. I wanted to do MBA from a good college as soon as I graduated from my college. But it was more of peer pressure I guess and more importantly a long cherished dream of studying in an elite institution. Why MBA, and why me??? I am still searching for answers. I don't think many people know the answers either but they 'Just Do It'. Because this is what we're supposed to do. This is what leads to high paying jobs, isn't it?? And in our present society money means both success and security. kya karte ho ye chhodo, kitna kama rahe ho????
A friend of mine did only what she wanted to do. Undeterred by everybody(including me) who told her otherwise. Amongst all my friends, she is the only one who always seems to be enjoying, always with a smile on her face. She was the topper of her college, won gold medal for the best allrounder, but chose to go in a field which is full of struggle, in which money and recognition comes very late(If it comes, that is) until and unless you are very lucky or have loads of money or have great contacts. It's not money that she's after, nor recognition either. It is the satisfaction that she gets from her work that always leads to a smile on her face. Lot of times, I read and heard that it is the fear of failure that is the biggest hindrance in a man's success. I realise now what that means. We are too afraid to break away from the well trodden path, too afraid to come out of our comfort zones. I wish I had my friend's guts.....
I appreciate such an honest account of the conundrum deep within you.I also understand that it's a pretty mixed feeling with frisson of excitement running through you on finally starting a new journey collated with flustered thoughts regarding CAT preparation.But I am pretty sure you are going to pull it off.Just a piece of advice (of course unsolicited one and may even sound like a cliche)Money is like a tail it will follow you and it shouldn't be vice versa.Don't worry about it,just hone your skills. Bill gates build the software first ,money came later and yes if sachin tendulkar during his childhood days toiled hard it was not for the fact that one day he would endorse pepsi or mrf and earn millions and millions!!
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