I think I make a good
friend. At least I’ve tried to be one. Not that I haven’t failed in this
regard, but usually I try to put my best foot forward.
On the 1st Jan this
year, I tried an experiment. I mailed all the people whom I considered were good friends
at any point in my 31 years of life. People who were important to me, with whom I shared
some very happy memories.
I wanted to apologize for any wrong I had done as well as thank for whatever good time I had spent with them. It was an
emotional mail, something people don’t usually say. Sometimes it makes you
uncomfortable. I was too.
Most people replied.
Some said they were happy to hear from me that they meant so much to me. Some
replied just with a thanks and what was going on in their lives. Some friends
just asked me if I was ok that I was writing such emotional mails.
The best came from the
closest friends, with whom I have maintained contact for more than 10 years or
so. They abused me for sending such stupid mails and for having lost my mind. Only a close friend can abuse you so openly and be fine with it.
And there were some
more people, who I presume, just ignored the letter. Even while writing the mail I had an inkling about who all will not reply. They read the mail but
decided not revert. Some of them have grown out of the friendship, some just
don’t want to be friends any more, some don’t care, and others, well, I guess
they are just plain angry.
I think it was a good
idea to write this mail even if it was slightly embarrassing to open the heart
out. More than anything, it told me where I don’t have to concentrate my
energies any more. Not because I don’t want to, but because some people don’t
want me back. And even though it’s a bit disturbing and saddening, it’s
fine.
:)
ReplyDelete