My first B school interview

I faced my first interview for MBA at IIT D. I was the last ranker called for the interview(lucky me!!)..I was asked to report at 12.30pm. The interview began at some 5.45pm. I was tired as hell, feeling extremely hungry and sleepy at the same time. Here are some excerpts from the interview. Kindly neglect the absence of punctuation marks. It was getting very tedious.

I entered the room. 3 people were sitting on a sofa(selection couch????) I sat on a chair placed in front of the man who seemed to be the leader of the interview panel. He was some big shot, an ex CEO of Emami group and presently the faculty member at IIT D. I could see his legs between the end of his trousers and his socks(do they dress like this all the time). Some Rs 20 notes lied on the floor beside him. My all expectations  of a B School interview being highly sophisticated came down crashing.Another member in the panel was some prof who sat to my left and a very old lady wearing a cap to prevent the cold.

Q. So Aviral, tell us something about your family..

Told them. Said my sister was in Bombay and corrected it to Mumbai. 

"Mumbai! I see."

Q. You are an Electronics and Communication engineer in your final year. Which subject do you like most?

Microprocessors, Sir.

Q. What did you study in Microprocessors?

Told them something.

 "I see."

Q. What is Nano Technology??

(Now where did that come from??? What made him ask about Nano technology when I said I liked Microprocessors.) Anyways, I said some shit any Tom, Dick & Harry would have said. Then I said "That's all I know, Sir."

 "I see!"

Q. What is Six Sigma?

Blurted out something I had heard from a friend and read long back. Gave them the example of Dabbawalas in Mumbai.

Q. So what is the efficiency of six sigma??

Sorry Sir. I don't know.

Q. How many errors are allowed in one million?

(Was he not listening? I said I didn't know.) Sorry sir.I don't know.

Q. Then do you know about 3 Sigma?

(6 Sigma to dhang se pata nahi ...Ab ye 3 Sigma kis chidiya ka naam hai??  ) Sorry Sir. I don't know.

Q. What is the efficiency of 3 Sigma?

(Had ho gayi yaar....) Sorry Sir. I don't know

Q. Ever heard about Paul Krugman?

Yes sir. I have read his articles in The Hindu. Though I must confess that I don't understand them all.He writes for New York Times. He won Nobel prize for Economics for the year 2008.

Q. Did he predict something?

Told them what I knew about his predictions about current recession.

Q. Have you read his book?

Sorry Sir.

Q. What is the name of his book?

(yaar...i am an engineer...). Sorry Sir. I have not read his book.

Q. Ever heard of S%&!?*##... (he was some economist whose name started with an 'S')

Sorry Sir. Never heard of him

Q. What are your other interests in life?

Sir, I like quizzing, and reading Mahabharat. I also like following cricket.

Q. What is the philosophy of Mahabharat?

Some random crap.

Q. Why do you like Mahabharat.?

Some crap again.

Q. Who is your favourite character in Mahabharat?

Karna Sir. blah blah blah.

Q. Is Karna the only person you take inspiration from?

No sir. Blurted out some philosophical stuff  I don't remember.

Q. Did you not learn anything from Gita?

Sir Gita is just a part of Mahabharat. The underlying teachings of Gita are different. It talks about the philosophy of Karma. Karmanya Vadhikaraste Ma Faleshu Kadachan.

The old lady smiled. Said something about Gita & Mahabharat to which I nodded. I don't remember what.

Q. What do you do in your spare time?

Sir , I pursue my hobbies. I like Cricket.

Q. Do you play cricket?

Yes sir. Sometimes.

Q. What do you do?

Sir I bowl.

Q. Is it the fast bowling, or medium pace?

Sir sometimes medium pace, sometimes Off spin.

Q. Have you ever measured the speed of your bowling?

(Abey gully aur chhat par khela hai cricket. Speed gun kaha se aayegi??)Sorry sir.Never measured it.

Q. Who has bowled the fastest ball?

Shoaib Akhtar, Sir. In 2003 World cup.

Q Is it? he looked at the prof sitting on my left. Whom I had forgotten even existed.

The man nodded.

Q. What about the record of Hall & Gilchrist?

(Andrew Hall aur Adam Gilchrist kya?? inka to speed records se door door tak koi naata nahi hai. Ek bar socha poochhoon Peter Gilchrist kya??Then remembered that Peter is a billiards player). Never heard of it, sir.

Q. Have you read any books on Cricket?

yes sir. I read a book on Sachin Tendulkar.

Q. Who was the author?

Sorry Sir. Read it long back. Don't remember the author.(Actually had read only few pages of the book)

Q. Ever heard of someone called Ramchandra....?

Yes sir. Ramchandra Guha. He is a famous cricket historian.

Q. What all books has he written?

Sir, "Wicket in the East". He has also authored some quiz books also.

"I see."

Q. What else do you do in your spare time?

Sir, I like reading novels. I have read some . Told them the names of a few authors whose books I had read.

Q. (Now it was the chance of old lady)Why does a man work?

(kya chahte ho yaar...kya ajeeb ajeeb sawaal poochh rahe ho). Ma'am, he has to fulfil his social responsibilities. He has to support his family. He needs to keep his mind busy.

Q. (Old man again)Suppose a man has a lot of money, has fulfilled all his social responsibilities, has supported his family well. Will he work?

Yes sir. He can't sit idle. Khali dimag shaitan ka ghar hota hai. He needs to do something to keep his mind occupied.

Q. Suppose he writes 3 poems in a month. Is he working??

Sir, if he is doing productive and quality work, and is not doing that just to spend time, he is working.

Q. Another person is writing 10 poems in a month. Is he working more??

(kyo chaat raha hai yaar. chahta kya hai??) Sir that depends on the quality of work. If the quality of work of a man writing 3 poems in a month is better, he is working more.

Q. Don't use so many ifs in your answer. Is he working more or not???

Can't say, Sir.

Q. Suppose there is an ascetic doing meditation in Himalayas thinking about the welfare of human beings and the world. Is he working?

(bahut ho gaya yaar....bas kar ab)Yes sir. If he is satisfied with what he is doing, he is working.

Q. Is there any definition of work, given in a book, which says if a man is working or not?

Sorry Sir. I don't know.

Q. What was the definition of work you studied in your class 10?

Sir Work= Force* Distance(Should have said force*displacement. wanted to correct it. I didn't get a chance.)

Q. What is the unit of work?

Joule, Sir.

Q. What is the unit of heat?

Joule, Sir.

Q. How can they be same? Heat can be converted into work. Then why are their units same?

(ye kya  ajeeb sawal hai). I don't know sir.

Q.What is the unit of force?

Newton, Sir.

Q. That is only one unit. Newton is in MKS system. What is the unit in CGS & FPS system?

Thought for a while. Then said Sorry Sir. I don't remember.

"I see!"

Q. What is Pascal's law?

Said something I remembered. gave example of Hydraulic Lift & Hydraulic Press.

Q.What is Avagadro's Law?

Said something again. Gave value of mole.(i.e. 6.023*10exp23)

Q.I think the value is 10 to the power 24.

No sir. It's 10 to the power 23.

"I see!"

Q. What is the combined form of Chales' Law and Boyle's Law?

Sir PV=nRT. This is ideal gas equation.

Q. What is R?

Sir, R is universal gas constant. Its value is 8.314

Q. Do you have interest in Indian political scenario?

A little bit, yes Sir.

Q. Who was C Subramaniam?

Sorry Sir. I don't know.

Q. Who was the first Finance Minister of India?

Sorry Sir. No idea.

Q. Who was the first president of India?

Dr. Rajendra Prasad, Sir.

Q. Who was the second?

Dr Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, Sir.

Q. During which years was he the president?

Sir, 1962 to 1967. Dr. Rajendra Prasad was from 1952 to 1962.

Q. Who wrote Discovery of India?

Jawahar Lal Nehru, Sir.

Q. Which book was written by Mahatma Gandhi?

"My Experiments with Truth", Sir.

Q. Have you read it?

Sorry Sir. I haven't read it.

"I see"

Q. Tell me about your two good qualities and two bad qualities.

Said some shit again. Stereotyped answer. Said procrastination in bad qualities.

Q. (Old lady) So do you procrastinate because you are overconfident.

No Ma'am. blah blah blah...

Q. The old man asked other two panel members if they had anything else to ask.They declined and asked me to leave.

Thank you , Sir. Thank you Ma'am.

At the end of it I realised that I had spoken the word "Sorry" more than I had done in my whole life. My interview had lasted some 40 minutes while everybody else's got over in 7-8 minutes.